Joke:Dog vs Women

*Dogs don't cry.

*Dogs love it when your friends come over.

*Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

*Dogs think you sing great.

*A dog's time in the bathroom is just for a quick drink.

*Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late. The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.

*Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

*Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

*Dogs are excited by rough play.

*Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

*Dogs understand that farts are funny.

*Dogs love red meat.

*Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

*Anyone can get a good looking dog.

*If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

*Dogs don't shop.

*Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

*A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

*Dogs never need to examine your relationship.

*A dog's parents never visit.

*Dogs love long car trips.

*Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

*Dogs know that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.

*If a dog gets old and starts to snap at you constantly, you can shoot it.

*Dogs like beer.

*Dogs don't hate their bodies.

*Dogs never buy Kenny G or Michael Bolton albums.

*Dogs never put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

*Dogs never criticize.

*Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

*Dogs never expect gifts.

*It is legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

*Dogs don't worry about germs.

*Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

*Dogs like to do their snooping outside, not in your wallet, your pockets, or your sock drawer.

*Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

*A dog would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one. *You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.

*Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

*Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

*Dogs never want foot-rubs.

*Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

*Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

*Dogs can't talk.

*Dogs aren't catty.

*Dogs seldom outlive you.